An Overture to An Overture to My Love Affair With Luck (Or Lunch)

First post in the states since I created the Lair. Since I became StealthWizard87, I suppose. Since I decided to put somethings on the internet. I suppose it's a coincidence that I am posting again and also listening to Tom Waits for the first time since the semester started, but then again, he always makes me feel like I need to respond to him in some way. Journal Entry #1 since no one will bother reading this anymore:

What has been odd is the gut-pain. The constipated thought life.  Staring at my beautiful pink scar tissue...I have a special case of loss right now. It’s something I’m not sure I know how to reconcile with. For now it is like overhearing someone insulting your artwork, only less personal, which may make it even more frustrating.

I might find out soon that you really don’t need me at all. That you don’t find in me anything you can’t get from anyone else. Or no…no that’s wrong. That is mostly what is so striking about missing so much. I could get anything that you give me from anyone else. It isn’t that you’re so unique that I simply must come to you to get what I cannot from others. That’s never true. It’s the worst kind of lover’s myth. It is that I can get it all from anyone. 

I just want you to want it from me.